Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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HURT

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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