How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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refridgrator

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops