What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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Women's rights.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Anyone??????????/

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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