- Anti Joke

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

A baby seal walks into a club

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

Why did it die Nothing died

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

Black people stink of shite!

What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

whats worse than jonny james obviously

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Where are you going Your house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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