Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Lil' Wayne

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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School

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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