roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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