gay people

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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children burning

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Oh, right

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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