how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Mark Wilson

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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