Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

No.

Whats 2+1? 2.

Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

what do u call a apple a apple

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

heyy emit chase wazzup

Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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