What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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i am and me is i

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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