What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Twenty-Four

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops