What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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