A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

I told you it would happen

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

brian mcgee is gay!

Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

How much Is a free app on my market?

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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