How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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