Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops