What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Kelly Clarkson

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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