Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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