Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Lets go Yankees

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops