- Anti Joke

i have to pee out my ass.

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

Penis.

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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