What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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