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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

Black Friday

long in the tooth!

What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

Smeg...

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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