what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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12

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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1 + 1 = 3

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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VAGINA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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