Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Snarf Nuggets

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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This is not a joke or is it

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you lose.

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7

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A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops