What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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u jelly?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Your mom is fat

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This is not a joke

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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