What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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