Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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you first

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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why did joe drown ? he had no arms

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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