How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Thumbs this down

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops