What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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racism...deal with it!

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops