*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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