Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Dylan is gay

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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