A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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