Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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