What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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bees knees

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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