- Anti Joke

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

I'm a lion hear my threat ** you * and then go ** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

Your mom.

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

I'm a lion hear my threat ** you * and then go ** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

Your mom.

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

I'm a lion hear my threat ** you * and then go ** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.