what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

what do u call a apple a apple

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

What's big and messy? A big mess

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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