a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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The Game

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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