In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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Hi

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

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tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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