Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A man walks into a bar.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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