- Anti Joke

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

Woman's Rights

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

what smells worse then shit Drew White

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

G

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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