A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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women's rights

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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The person below me is weird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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