What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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These Jokes suck.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops