What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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