charlie sheen becomes sober.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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