there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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