What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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TIMMAH!

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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