Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

melon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops