How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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I am on a escalator.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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knock knock piss off

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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K.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops