What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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How come grilled cheese?

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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h

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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