When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops