What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Xbox One

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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