What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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