Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops